how-to bowl WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT

Since some of you espressed interest last night on the show (THANKS FOR CALLING IN!!), here’s some helpful hints if you want to check out your local bowling alley without the feds figuring out what you’re doing.

1. Dress normal. Bowling alleys are probably supposed to attract people like you and me, not rich people, so wear normal things.
2. Do not eat the food! They might drug you. Even if they don’t, you could get heartburn.
3. Don’t check for bugs. Waste of time. They’re there, but they’re so small you can’t see them anyways and they can always hide them in a hologram anyways.
4. Wear socks that don’t bunch up or you WILL GET BLISTERS.
5. If you get the earplugs at the gas station that are plastic with the little ridges then you will be able to hear everything even with all the loud noise. Foam ones don’t work as good and make it feel like you are underwater.
6. Stake-outs take a LONG TIME. Sometimes it might take more than one stake out to get info. You might want to join a bowling team so it’s not suspicious when you come back again.

But DON”T forget! They could drag you away any time. Only go bowling if you are a true TRUTH SEEKER, and you want to prove that there really is SOMETHIING WEIRD about there being bowling alleys around still.